Big Sam's Big Fat Head
If anyone could ever be accused of having intelligence in inverse proportion to the size of their head it would be Big Sam Allardyce.
Today's xenophobic rant about nasty foreigner Rafa Benitez pretty much sums up a man who talks like a Daily Sport reader and looks like Bully out of Bullseye.
The day after his own team were beaten by mighty Derby County, the Newcastle manager was quoted as saying: "Being a foreigner, Rafa doesn't understand it's supposed to be Premier League first and Champions League second."
Really? Being a "foreigner" hasn't impeded Jose Mourinho or Arsene Wenger from coming to that conclusion so what exactly does country of birth have to do with this?
And how would big Sam know anyway? When exactly did he have to prioritise between the Champions League and the Premiership?
Luckily for him, he's never going to be shown up as a hypocrite on this because he manages Newcastle United, a club which isn't likely to qualify for Europe's premier competition any time soon.
He'll do what he always does - assemble a team of cloggers who will play football in his image (ie ugly) and Newcastle will remain on the outside looking in as the big four continue to enjoy the Champions League party.
As for his "Benitez is lucky to still be in a job" rant, it is apparent that Big Sam clearly doesn't employ logic.
To reach one Champions League final could be lucky (even though it wasn't, Liverpool having beaten Olympiakos, Bayer Leverkusen, Juventus and Chelsea along the way) but reaching two in just three years can only come down to a mixture of quality players performing on the biggest stage and a manager who knows how to get the most out of his charges when it matters most.
It ain't got nothing to do with luck.
And anyway his "if it wasn't for getting to those two pesky Champions League finals" bleat doesn't half make him sound like a villain from Scooby Doo.
I don't know what Allardyce's problem is with Benitez but he needs to get over it because it is making him increasingly divorced from reality.
Although I hope he carries on talking s***e because he's already done Rafa's team talk for him for when we next play the Geordies.
Can you imagine what "the foreigner's post match press conference will be like if Liverpool win that one?
Can't wait.
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Tony Barrett
Excellent Tony. Love the first line, great stuff.
Great post Tony sums that fat pr**k up.
If anyone should be worried about there job,its him.
Jabba seems to think he's clued in, yet his team were beaten by a side we could have easily knocked 10 past but only managed a paltry six goals.
P45 in jan me thinks.
Good piece Tony.
"If it weren't for those trophies then Rafa would be sacked." Genius.
Fathead Sam should worry about his own shortcomings, jealousy is a nasty trait.
Good article mate. I've never liked Allardyce, his recent unprovoked comments help me explain why.
Tony, you're in danger of becoming the Steve Wright of the blogs world with so many admirers taking time to pay you compliments.
Do these people really exist or are you busy making up nom-de-plumes?
I've been churning out Touchline Dad for twice as long and I'm yet to receive my first pat on the back. I wouldn't even mind a bit of abuse to keep me company.
Nice to see you give that gum-chewing Fathead a kicking. When is he next due at Anfield? Should be fun.
Lay off 'Big Sam'. It's not his fault that he contracted joeroyleitis when he got to middle age. Symptons include slagging lfc at every chance and having a head like John Merrick's. This poor fella's particular strand of the disease gives him delusional thoughts, like being an international manager, or being a managers' consultant for Champions' League Clubs. Like Royle before him we should give him some sympathy. He'll be in a home soon, wittering on about how he could have won the World Cup, European Cup, Grand National etc. Poor sod!