From the UEFA website, feel free to insert your own punchlines.
Don't know where to begin on this so I'm going to deal with the shock for an hour or so and then come back to it.

UEFA has been presented with the inaugural European Communication Award at the European Communication Summit in Brussels.

Common language
The citation for the award stated: "UEFA, under Michel Platini's presidency and with William Gaillard as his senior adviser, spreads football's excitement throughout Europe. It makes tremendously successful efforts to democratise Europe's No1 game. One key measure is making the treasure trove of the UEFA Champions League more inclusive. Allowing more teams from less established leagues (eastern Europe, primarily) to qualify for the group stage is a clear message of inclusion."

Anti-racism work
It continued: "The 2012 UEFA European Championship was awarded to Ukraine and Poland, bringing football's lure to Europe's more recent democracies and the European Union's newer members. UEFA's President Platini is also driving an anti-racism campaign, urging football associations to adopt a zero-tolerance approach to both racism and violence. The organisation uses the power of the game as Europe's ultimate common language - hardly anything could be a better means of communication."

Platini honoured
As the UEFA President was unavailable, the award was presented to William Gaillard, UEFA's director of communications and public affairs and senior adviser to the President, at the Concert Noble in the Belgian capital on Monday. On receiving news of the award, Michel Platini said: "I am honoured and grateful on behalf of UEFA to accept this first European Communication Award. We will take this as further encouragement towards our long-term commitment of continuing to use football as a common language in breaking down barriers across Europe and for all Europeans."

Communication commitment
Mr Gaillard added: "UEFA is more used to giving awards than receiving them. We are honoured and moved to receive this first European Communication Award and we take it as a token of our commitment to communication by means of the most popular sport in Europe, bringing together some 60 million players at all levels." Florence Ranson, managing vice-president of the European Association of Communication Directors (EACD), who presented the accolade, stressed UEFA's "tremendously successful efforts to democratise Europe's No1 game". She said: "Football is the epitome of tolerance and integration. UEFA uses the power of the game as Europe's ultimate common language." The European Communication Summit is a two-day event hosted by the EACD and the professional magazine Communication Director and attended by approximately 600 leading communication professionals from business, media and politics. The inaugural winner of the award was decided by a vote among EACD members.

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